


Tell Me Why?

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gender Dysphoria, I suck at writing, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Why am i trying to write this when im so tired, based on 13 Reasons Why
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-15 07:31:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10552482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Hello this is Lance McClain reporting for duty! To those of you who have not heard yet, I am dead. Not metaphorically like I'm dead on the inside middle school emo shit but literally dead.While I am speaking cheerfully like this is some joke that I always pull and by the end I'll say the punchline, but that's not happening. Not today, not tonight, and not ever again. The reason why I am making this is...Well you'll just have to listen now, won't you?"Keith never thought he would hear his voice again. His self proclaimed rival, his friend, and his biggest regret.





	1. Shut up and listen

_"Hello this is Lance McClain reporting for duty! To those of you who have not heard yet, I am dead. Not metaphorically like I'm dead on the inside middle school emo shit but literally dead._

_While I am speaking cheerfully like this is some joke that I always pull and by the end I'll say the punchline, but that's not happening. Not today, not tonight, and not ever again. The reason why I am making this is...Well you'll just have to listen now, won't you?"_

Keith never thought he would hear his voice again. His self proclaimed rival, his friend, and his biggest regret.

His breathing quickened and his hands started to shake rapidly. He knew that the hard drive he found in his locker was the beginning to a disaster.

But let's turn back the clock shall we?  
To the very morning he found this dreaded hard drive.

_**8 hours ago** _

_**Keith's pov** _

It's been two weeks since my senior year started here in Garrison High School. Garrison high the best school in all of Altea "Go Voltron!". Can you hear the sarcasm just dripping from those words.

How can two week completely impact my life. Make me completely rethink why exactly am I here. What's the purpose of graduating high school just to go to school again. To then get a job that you will mostly likely hate just so you can pay back the money that you spent to go to school.

Why even bother?

Shiro, my step brother, looked concerned at me as he drove towards Garrison. Constantly glancing at me as he tried to focus on the road.

"Take a fucking picture Shiro it last longer." I said as I rolled my eyes.

With a sigh Shiro parked his car in the school parking lot. He locked the doors before I could escape and turned towards me with what I have deemed the "Dad glare".

"Keith, the group and I are just concerned about you. You've been taking his dea-"

No. Don't even bring it up. Don't remind me.

"I'm fine! I'm fine. Really Shiro. I-I just need...time."

I brushed my hand through my hair. Still not used to having it short in the back.

"I know. We all do."

"You do know that the whole 'we understand how you're feeling' crap isn't going to work on me. Shiro I'm fine, really."

"Keith wait a sec-"

I quickly unlocked the door and ran towards Garrison. As I walked inside I could see posters about suicide all over the walls. Like "how we shouldn't do it" or to just "get help".

As if it were just that easy.

As if those posters had all the answers. But it's not that easy and those aren't the answers.

The locker right next to mine had notes adorning it. Flowers, picture, little post it notes saying how we all miss you.

Complete and utter strangers talking as if they knew you. If they actually knew you they would know how much you hate carnations. Or how you love roses since you are such a romantic.

Or how you dislike those really bright neon post it notes since it makes your eyes hurt.

Wait. Your not a romantic. You were a romantic.

Why do I think about you as if you're still here. That you'll come waltzing in and say some bad pun and tell everyone it was just some stupid prank.

I inputted my locker combination to see something that wasn't there before.

A plain blue hard drive just right in front of my books. I stared blankly at it trying remember if I had some power point presentation to do. But nothing came to mind.

Putting it in my pocket I decided to check it out later. The first bell rang signaling that first period is going to start. My first class, English 12.

The English teacher here had to be one of the worst. Fucking Zarkon.

If you didn't answer a question correctly you run a mile. Didn't write your name on your paper? Oh, just run two miles. Fuck you forgot to write in pen? Damn, well fifty push ups for you!

He would even read some of the students personal essays out loud with a smirk covering his face. As if everything they wrote was laughable.

Yeah I don't want to deal with that shit today. Instead of going to first period I went straight towards the restroom.

I hid in one of the stalls and tried to pass the time till I heard someone else enter. I peeked through the giant gaps that the stalls have. And there he was.

Lotor. Also known as Prince Lotor for his way of treating everybody like they are below him. Captain of the football team. Son to Zarkon.

He is also rumored to be apart of the gang called The Galra. And yet he is the most popular guy in school. Go figure.

Despite being the absolute worst he did throw the best parties. Or what I assume since I only went to one of his along with the fact that everyone says it's the best.

But his party did something incredible. Well maybe more devastating then incredible.

It let me meet Lance McClain.

Dear god I keep thinking of him. Every little thing just ends up with me thinking of him again.

I sound like some love sick teenage girl in an anime.

"Shit. What am I going to do?! I can't stay here..." Lotor said in a desperate tone.

That was something so unlike him. He sounded afraid? Guilty?

"He's not even here and he still tries to ruin my life!"

At the perfect moment the automatic toilet decided to flush. Just perfect.

Lotor looked towards my stall and fucking rushed out of the restroom.

Well that was...strange?

My phone vibrated and checked to see that Pidge texted me.

**"Come to my house."**

**"Why are you not at school?"**

**"..."**

**"..."**

**"Just come."**

**"I'll be there in 10."**

**"Okay."**

Well I skipped first period might as well just skip them all. Shiro is going to kill me when he finds out.

I casually walked out of school. Right through the front gates.

Best school in all of Altea my ass.

Fortunately Pidge's house was two blocks away from school. Along with their parents being away on a business trip.

I got to their house and knocked on the door. Only to see Pidge's glasses cracked, eyes bloodshot, and looks to be on the very edge of breaking.

"Keith. No talking." Pidge whispered.

I've never been great when it comes to comforting people but to see them like this is just heartbreaking.

They never let anyone see them this vulnerable. So to let me see them like this of all people. I'm not going to ruin their opportunity of seeking comfort.

They led me to what the group and I have named the bat cave. Or basically just the basement.

Pidge got their laptop. Started to play Star Wars and we just watched for hours.

 **3:16 pm**. School ended twenty six minutes ago.

Both of us sat in an comfortable silence. Until Pidge finally spoke.

"I'm so sorry."

What?

"Pidge you don't have to apologize."

"No. You don't get it but you will. You got it didn't you. The hard drive."

How? What?

"Why do you? How do you know that? Explain."

"I-I'm the one who put it in your locker. I didn't think I would even have the courage to give it to you in person. But...I surprised myself and actually managed to text you."

Pidge paused for a moment.

"I don't know if making you come here was some twisted way of making myself feel better. Or that maybe apologizing beforehand will make things better for myself in the end."

Pidge took a deep breathe. Straightened their back and with all their willpower told me to go home.

To go home and to listen to whatever was on the hard drive. Don't ask questions. To shut up and listen by yourself.

Pidge held that desperate look that seemed familiar. It looked exactly like the expression on Lotor's face.

So I did what I could. I went home.

I just left without even trying to help them. I didn't even try to see what was wrong.

Déjà vu.

Funny. How we make mistakes and we never learn. Instead we keep repeating them.

"Keith! How was school today?"

I walked inside my home to witness Shiro and Matt, Pidge's older brother, both on their laptop furiously typing.

They were surrounded by coffee cups, Monsters, and bottles of five hour energy.

It's going to be a long night for them.

"It was fine. What's going on?" I asked.

Shiro took a sip of coffee while Matt downed a Monster and they said,

"College."

"Group projects."

I blinked and gave them a blank stare.

"I'm not hungry so don't order any food for me. I'll be in my room."

With that Matt gave a thumbs up as I headed upstairs to my room.

Why am I so nervous?

My heart is beating so erratically that it's the only thing that I can hear.

Just put the hard drive in my laptop and listen to whatever was on it, easy right?

If only it was that simple.

**_All of this leads up to the beginning. What was supposed to be another normal day turned out to be something unexpected_ ** **_._ **

**_Whose actions caused this to happen?_ **

 


	2. Audio file #1 Nyma

_**Audio File 1** _

_**Keith's pov** _

_"-Well you'll just have to listen now, won't you?"_

Why just why?!

Lance!

I need answers. But I can't listen to his voice. When I listen I can see him.

Alone. Recording on his laptop in his room that was painted blue.

What was he thinking when he was recording himself?

I clicked the play button once again.

_"Here's what's going to happen. Each audio file is for a specific person. You, the audience will sit back and listen. Take as long as you need. You have all the time in the world unlike me._

_Once the first person is done listening to all of the recordings they will then pass it on to the next._

_You might be thinking that throwing away this hard drive and pretending that everything is normal is the way to go. But I have someone watching._

_They know who you are and what you did. If they see that you threw this away or didn't pass it on then they will show this to the authorities._

_Bye bye to all of your guy's perfect records._

_Now here we go. The first person that I'll be talking about is...Drumroll please! Nyma!"_

Nyma? That cheerleader?

_"Oh Nyma you must be wondering how on Earth did I end up on this hard drive! What could I have possibly done!_

_But you and I both know what you did._

_Now imagine this! Lance McClain a sophomore in the middle of the year going up to some girl at school and flirting with her. After she flirted back jokingly and made it clear she wasn't interested I backed off. That's it._

_I flirt with everybody and I believed everyone in school knew that I didn't actually mean it. It was part of my personality in a way._

_I thought everyone knew it was a joke. Guess I was wrong wasn't I?_

_But you probably must have thought of me as someone different before listening. Not Lance McClain the high school student. Not Lance McClain the class clown. Nope, Lance McClain the pervert._

_The boy who sexually harassed Nyma. The boy whose family had to pay for him after you so "generously" just decided to press charges for something that I didn't do._

_I wasn't allowed to be near my own family members after that. My own mother was afraid of letting me be near my sisters or cousins._

_You told all of your friends these lies. Then your friends told the whole school. Which also means my friends heard them._

_My own friends didn't believe me when I said I didn't do it. But we'll talk about them on a different recording._

_Nyma I seriously thought that there was a possibility that we could have been friends._

_So why did you do it?_

_Not like I'll even hear it if I do get an answer."_

Then the recording stopped.

I remember the first time I met Lance it was in the beginning of sophomore year at a stupid party. I had just transferred after Shiro's family decided to take me in.

It was suprising really. A family deciding to adopt a teenager. It doesn't really happen often. Most would try to pick the kids or toddlers.

In all honesty I feel the most connected with Shiro. His parents aren't home most of the time since they work for the military. Shiro's whole family is in some way part of the military.

When I felt what it was like to have a family. I got addicted to it.

That feeling of a place where you know you'll always belong. Just knowing that people will help guide and comfort you.

So when Shiro's parents went away and Shiro himself was busy studying to get into a University.

I got lonely even though I had gotten used to the feeling before. For some reason it was different this time.

I would always stay at home on the weekends. I never really had friends to hang out with since I constantly moved.

So making or trying to make friends was already a difficult challenge. Shiro thought a high school party would be a golden opportunity.

I had a feeling he never went to a high school party. Let alone one that was held by his underclassmen. He probably went since his crush and now current girlfriend invited him.

Shiro was a senior in high school and I was a sophomore, yet I still knew that parties might not be the way to go.

Guess I was wrong though since I did make a friend, well rival.

I was what people called a wallflower in a way.

What is wrong with not wanting to interact with humans?

My mothman research would have be better company then drunk thirsty teenagers.

Then a boy challenged me to beer pong.

God I could feel the pressure of everybody's eyes on me at that moment. But I don't drink beer or alcohol in general.

Is this what people call peer pressure?

The boy who challenged me asked my name.

"Keith..."

"Well okay Mullet Man my name is Lance!"

Did he just call me Mullet Man?

He leaned in and whisper in my ear, "Listen I kinda traded the beer for apple juice. Cause I really hate beer and none of them have noticed yet.  
You wanna play "beer pong" though?"

I did something I didn't think I would do. I accepted the challenge and utterly destroyed him. Guess what? It was actually apple juice.

After defeating him I was then claimed as his rival.

He led me to the back of the house where the party was at. Then collapsed on the grass.

"Keef! I will regain my honor in a rematch someday!"

I looked at him not sure what to say or do.

But then he patted the grass next to him.

"Keeef! Watch the stars with me!"

Is he drunk?

"Lance did you drink?"

"Would you believe me if I said no?"

"No."

"Then maybeee?"

I could only roll my eyes at him in that moment.

"I thought you said you traded the beer for juice?"

"I gave you what was supposed to be my apple juice to you. While I got the side that had alcohol. I'm not drunk just tipsy!"

"Why did you do that?"

"...I could tell you didn't want to drink since you were in the corner the farthest away from it. I noticed you kept isolating yourself and didn't try to talk to people. So it decided to make you have some fun! It was fun wasn't it?"

It was pretty fun.

"You are so drunk. And you only drank beer."

"It was pretty strong stuff!"

I just laughed. At him? Maybe at the whole situation? But he laughed with me.

It was after that party did he seek me out at school. He challenged me constantly at everything. He was the one to introduce me to Hunk and Pidge.

He was my first rival. My first friend. My first love.

Yet I let him down. After everything he went through he was there to help me. When he called for help though. What did I do?

I yelled at him. I pushed him away.

My last words to him were "Go kill yourself".

 


End file.
